We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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