How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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