I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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