I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
