when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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