So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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