fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
