Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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