giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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