And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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