K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
