Plan B is the new Plan A
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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