I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
