Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
