The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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