At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
