Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize