Your tits are I can't wait for
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
