i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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