I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
