new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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