so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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