matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
