PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize