just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
