apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
