Do you still have your period?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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