you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
