i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
