did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
