shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
