normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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