is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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