When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
