i just had sex bonerless
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
