Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
