found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
