He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
