is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
