OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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