its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
