there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
