Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
