i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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