why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
