Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
