My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
