she was so not down for the gang bang
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
