Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How does one acquire holy water?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
