WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
