A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
