i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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