i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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