he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
