man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize