So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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