i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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