This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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