Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
