i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
